Translating marketing speak

Please add to our list

Your Friday giggle! ( please add to this )

New and improved = old and worse
In the interests of the customer = we needed to protect our interests
Exciting changes = we have restructured
New improved features = We added useless bloatware
Value added = it’s more expensive
Upgrade to a new tier = pretty colors , more expensive
Bogof (buy one get one free) = we are overstocked
Now with 25% more = We were ripping you off in the past
More for less= we are cheap
More for more = we are greedy and did not want to discount
Digital = no idea, something our marketing Team thought sounded good
Smart = dumb
New product bundle = Extra obsolete crap you don’t need, we need the shelf space
Exciting = only to us because we don’t have a life
This week only = we are sending it to be recycled
Only for you = everyone got this message
Selected customers only= we classified you into the high ego segment

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